MY STRUGGLE, YOUR STRENGTH

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2013-10-23 05-51-09.849My struggle, your strength. Wow, was just told that my struggle, is someone’s strength.  When I share my life, my struggles, my everything with the world, someone is out there, gaining strength, why, because perhaps their life is not as tough as mine, perhaps their struggle is a tad bit easier than mine, perhaps they needed to know that their situation isn’t as bad as it could be, but whatever the case, they are gaining strength from my struggle.  See, everything has a purpose.  Some would think that I am complaining, when in actuality, I’m sharing, it’s what I do best.  STOP SHARING AND START DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT, someone might be screaming for the hundredth time.  But I am doing something about it, I’m a writer, it’s what I do, it’s a part of my gift, it’s through my sharing that I am doing something about it, and that something about it, is giving someone strength. I am inspired to share even more, I am motivated to write even more, I AM doing. When I share, I let you inside my world, when I write, I write from my heart and soul, some wish they could do either.  It is easy for me, sharing is caring, and I truly care.  As an adviser, one of the things that people acknowledge is the fact that I have life experience and wisdom, and those things have been acquired from my struggle, from my triumphs, from my pain.  I share them, because I have a need to share them. Sharing them, is a form of therapy for me, and if others gain strength from me sharing, then I am yet, serving my purpose.  A lot of times, people go through life, feeling as if no one really cares about their concerns or issues, so they keep them to their selves. Well, I’m just the opposite, I don’t share because I want people to care, I share because I care, and if my sharing, gives someone peace, if my sharing, gives someone hope, if my sharing, gives someone inspiration, then my sharing will never be in vain.  Until next time, LIVE, LOVE, LEARN.

VALUING SELF, EVEN WHEN OTHERS DON’T

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Self-worth, what does it mean to you?  I looked it up, to see what the “authorities” had to say about it.  It was as I had thought.  So, again I ask, self-worth, what does it mean to you?  What it means to me is, I no longer feel obligated to do things that do not serve my needs.  As someone who has given, given, given, I had to learn how to say no, and not feel bad about it. What I found was, people don’t mind asking for your time, your energy, your anything, if it’s serving them, but you have to ask yourself, what am I really getting out of this?  Is this going to serve an IMMEDIATE need?  And see, we ALL have immediate needs, and the time has come and gone for doing stuff, just to be doing it.  And trust, that doesn’t mean that I’ll never give of myself again, just means, I’m being more selective, on where I spend my time, energy and services.  Case in point, in the past, I was so focused on doing good deeds, hoping and praying that they would pan out, and one day, I looked up, and I had sunk deeper and deeper into financial need, because I chose to focus on giving, instead of getting, and my time, energy and service, had not been fairly compensated for, yet, I had made a difference in people’s lives.  Which by the way, isn’t hard to do, as it is my passion and my purpose, all intertwined into my destiny.  Learning to value myself, comes at a hard price.  Those who are used to me giving, giving, giving, and once I started declining, declining, declining, could not understand who I had become.  “Who are you to turn me down, I’ve always been able to count on you,” they question me, inside their heads?  I hate to disappoint, but I, myself am in a very disappointing position, as I look up under every rock to try to save myself and those who are supposed to be able to depend on me, and those are my children.  This year, 2015, I will put out into the Universe, I VALUE MYSELF, I VALUE MYSELF, I VALUE MYSELF, and pray that others will one day shout, I VALUE YOU, I VALUE YOU, I VALUE YOU, and show it.  Until next time, LIVE, LOVE, LEARN.

THE PRICE OF BEING TRANSPARENT

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may the light be with youTransparency, a gift and a curse.  While some can appreciate the utter, unbridled realness of me, others find it repulsive, and I can TOTALLY understand that.  In the world of political correctness, people trying to please everyone, even if it means, putting on an act, I’m happy to be me, flawed and all.  The thing most people don’t understand is, once upon a time, I had no voice, so to speak.  I kept things bottled up, took the bullying, the ridicule, the put downs, all the things that had my esteem, lower than low. But one day, wouldn’t be able to recall it, after all, I’m 47 and certainly that was many moons ago, but one day, I found my voice, and went from no speaking, to over-speaking, and once I got started, there was no way for me to shut up, until I was good and ready.  But one thing that also was for certain, the words that I spoke were real, they were true, they made sense, yet they stung, but so does that needle at the doctor’s office, that gives you what you need to be well.  My transparency is a bit confusing for some, who miss the message, due to my flaws, as a human being.  One of my flaws is, I must have been a sailor in another life.  I so try not to show that side of me, in public, but hey, as they say, what’s on the inside, gonna eventually find its way to the outside, so I apologize in advance, if that offends you.  How can she cuss and use the name of God or Jesus in the same breath???  Oopsie, my bad, and trust, I’ve prayed about it, ever since I first received Jesus on my own, back in 1986, as I carried my first child, in my womb.  But getting back to my transparency, it’s a gift and a curse, as I stated above.  While some embrace my realness, my rareness, my rawness, others, turn their noses up in disgust and wouldn’t give me the time of day, even if I was handing out the exact day and time, the Savior was arriving.  At any rate, for the ones who embrace me, thank you for accepting me for who I am, who I’ve become, and one thing I can’t apologize for, is the fact that I’d rather let you see all of me, my good, bad and ugly, than hide things, and later be exposed.  I am WHO I am, I am WHAT I am, and I am WHY I am, and until next time, LIVE, LOVE, LEARN.

HARDENED HEARTS

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So me and mommi were on our daily walk yesterday, and we’re discussing how insensitive and non-caring people seem to be, and let me keep it real, not, seem to be, but ARE.  I’m like, I can’t believe not more than one person, saw fit, to donate to my cause…it’s enough to make you go insane, when all you’ve asked for was $5.00.  It’s the principle of the matter, that no one thought enough of me, to plant a $5.00 seed into my need. And mind you, it’s merely conversation at this point, because at the end of the day, I know that my needs will be met, as they have always been met, somehow, someway. But anyway, we’re on our way to the convenience store, which by the way is not so convenient, when you’re going for a specific reason, or item, and it’s not available, but anyway, as we’re checking out, mommi first, and she’s $1.65 short on her bill, so she turns to me, and well, I don’t have any cash, and just had enough for my purchases on my card, so this man, a man, neither of us knew, says to the clerk, “I got the rest”.  Mommi turns around and thanks him, and the clerk says, “he’s a very nice man,” in his Arabian voice.  Mind you, the man who helped, did not speak clear English, sounded like he had an African accent, which explains why he might have felt compelled to cover the rest, and no matter how small it was, the gesture alone, rang loud and clear.  I turned to the man, and thanked him also, and more importantly, told him that I would mention him in my blog, as he had just proved to me that there ARE people who still care about each other, that there are people who share from their finances, even to those they don’t even know.  It’s been a while since I’ve been able to give financially, but when I was able, I would never hesitate to help, if someone who came across my path needed it.  It brought me such joy to be able to see the smile AND surprise on their faces, brought on by a total stranger.  Felt great to give, not expecting anything in return, as I never saw most of them again.  I know that it’s a rarity to find people such as myself, and if they are around, they choose to give to other causes, which is fine, as long as they give. But it seems that the majority of humans have become heart-hardened, to the point that they can’t act upon the need of others, based on what they might feel about them.  But when you think about it, a need is a need, and if you don’t feel compelled to give, even a small portion of help, what does that really say about you?  At any rate, the walk home, was even better than on the way. The sun was beaming, and my heart was feeling all warm and fuzzy, simply from the revelation that there are STILL strangers who have compassion, and that compassion was shared on someone I love.  Until next time, LIVE, LOVE, LEARN.

WHO AM I TO THINK…

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Who am I to think that I have the right to ask for help, when I need it?  This is the question that was on my mind, when I woke up to a shinning sun.  After thanking God for His grace in seeing fit, that I make it into another day, I started to ponder the question in my mind, and this is the conclusion that I have come to.  I have the right to ask for help, financial help, simply because I am no better than the beggar on the street, who has the nerve to ask for help from complete strangers.  There once was a time, when my pride would not let me open my mouth, in this case, type my need to anyone.  I would quietly go before the Lord and petition Him for my needs, but that was before I became a person of service.  Once I became a giver of myself, through my time and energy, and gifts, as a spiritual worker, I felt like I had the right to ask.  Countless people, have taken advantage of my, “make you feel better,” presence, as I encouraged them through my writings, made them smile, or have a hardy laugh, through something I said on one of my videos, or just plan inspired or motivated them to go on. And I’m not saying that they OWE me anything, as much as I’m saying, that in my time of need, to ask from people that I know I have helped in the past, present and probably in the future, should not be something to be questioned.  I wrote the poem below, over 20 plus years ago, when I was taking public transportation, and someone asked me for some change.  I didn’t know this person from Adam, nor Eve, but I felt compelled to give, why, because they had asked.  In my opinion, being a beggar and being turned down, has got to be one of the most degrading things, to the human spirit, especially when you have a genuine need.  Most beggars on the streets, the ones who you can tell, haven’t much left by way of pride, have a drive that won’t allow them to give up. They are trying to survive and for all the “nos,” one “yes” could mean the difference between if they eat or not, that particular day.  I’m not that beggar on the street, but knowing my financial situation, and my need for assistance at THIS time, has given me the drive that I need, simply because I know that this situation is temporary, as it has always been, from time to time.  There will come a day, when I will be the giver again, from the abundance that I know is included within my destiny, but until then, and only until then, I will continue to ask, when I am in need.

BEGGAR, BEGGAR

Beggar, beggar on the street

who knows, who you could be

maybe you’re the man, who once had fortune and fame

but now you can’t even remember, your very own name

Beggar, beggar in the rain

who knows, how much suffering and pain

you have endured in your life on the street,

praying for a kind heart to meet

Beggar, beggar, what happened to you

you once wore the finest, dresses and shoes

passing by, turning everyone’s head

but now they look at you, with pity and dread

Beggar, beggar, how did you fall

from once having everything, to nothing at all

how did you let it all slip down the drain

sleeping in the snow of winter, and in the spring rain

Beggar, beggar, here’s my last dime

who’s to know, what’s brought on by time

I, myself, could be in your shoes

begging or stealing, for a piece of food

Beggar, beggar, it is your task

to spend this dime that you have asked

in the way in which you said

for in the Good Book, I have read

not to worry about what comes of my deed

for many will ask, out of pure greed

just as long as I do my part and give sincerely, from my heart.

~page 69 of, My Naked Mind, An Intimate Collection of Poetry~

RED HAWK IN MOTION

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Sometimes it helps when you know a little something about a person, instead of preconceived notions.  I try to be as transparent as I can be, and for some, it’s a bit much, but I can only be, who I am.  I’m rough around the edges, when I’m at my best and my worst, and some consider that rude, but for those who REALLY know me, they know that my heart is as soft, as a newborn baby’s tush.  Sorry for the visual.  Anyway, I thought I’d share a video with you, so that you can get a grasp of who this crazy woman is, the one who appears to have no shame, when it comes to asking for what she needs.  And trust me, there is shame, but it’s being overshadowed by my need to make a difference in first, my life, then the lives of others.  Until next time, LIVE, LOVE, LEARN.

I AM DETERMINED

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I’ve got my blinders on, and until I secure an outside-the-house job, I will do my damnedest to make something happen here at home.  See, I know my purpose and my passion, and reluctantly, I seek alternatives to the life-style that I have become accustomed to, for the past ten years.  One that allows me the freedom to move and breath as I so choose, one that allows me to be available to, not only my children, but my mother as well.  When I think about working on someone’s clock and not being able to take my daily walk with mommi, it saddens me.  When we’re walking, even in the frigid weather of late, we both agree that if not for our walk, neither one of us, would be getting any exercise.  I sure don’t wanna give that up.  At 76 and  47, who knows, our daily walks could be preserving me and mother’s lives. Getting back on topic, I’m determined to continue on this at-home journey and just yesterday, Spirit whispered the words, “pay it forward” to me, as I was headed towards the bathroom.  So I turned back around, headed to my computer and typed in, “pay it forward”…and discovered another way to raise funds for my cause.  Not sure if I’ll get any donations, but you best believe, when Spirit whispers something to me, I follow the directive.  As a spiritual worker, it is my duty to recognize the voice of Spirit and either deliver the messages given to me for someone else, or to follow directives, as to not miss out on things for lack of action on my part.  So with that being said, I present to you my “give-forward” campaign.  Please share this information, as your time and energy is also a donation, in my eyes.  Until next time, LIVE, LOVE, LEARN.

https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/rd87/a-mother-s-sacrifice

RED HAWK’S FIVE DOLLAR CHALLENGE: ~posted here from my facebook wall~

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so this is facebook, the land of challenges, where people readily sometimes make fools of themselves, for the sake of completing A challenge. well i, Red Hawk, challenge each person reading this, to reach DEEP in your pockets and pull out $5.00 dollars (my co-host came up with this price) to help support the efforts of me, Trisha Martin, a.k.a. Red Hawk. where will your dollars be spent??? let me run it down for you:

1. getting my vehicle back up and running, mainly, so that my 76 year old arthritic mother, can ride in “comfort” again, without braving this bitter winter season. ~if she has to walk, WE will~
2. getting the two windows that are broken out of our home fixed, the leaking roof, the kitchen sink that won’t work, basically house repairs that have gone undone, simply because we can’t afford to get them done.
3. winter attire for the whole family. without adequate cash flow, we’ve had to layer up, and make it do what it does, most times, we just stay put.
4. medical insurance for the WHOLE house. obamacare has missed us twice, but thankfully, we’re pretty healthy. but on the occasion that we’ve had to get medical attention, the boys, not me, i just added it to my debt.
5. will help finance the talk show, i.e. new computer, webcam, anything else needed to do what it is that i do, and that’s make a difference in people’s lives, by way of my talk show, STRAIGHT TALK WITH RED HAWK.

sidenote: send donations to: redhawk1967@hotmail.com viawww.paypal.com

~those are the main things that your $5.00 dollars will be used for~

ONE OF MY “BABIES” I BIRTHED IN 2013

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I am an entrepreneurial spirit.  I have given birth to many creative “offspring” over the course of a century, here is one of my latest.  After working online in various spiritual communities, I decided to branch off on my own, and offer my potential clients a less expensive way to get the help they came to get from me, whilst I was working on a platform.  This is my offering, Life Advice by Divine Order.  Please check out the entire site and send me an email by way of the contact form, to let me know what you think, I’d love to hear from you.  Until then, LIVE, LOVE, LEARN.

http://theredhawk1967.wix.com/stwrhtheshow

MY COLLABORATION

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Many times, I have tried to partner with people, only to be left stranded for some reason or another, but I still continue to try.  This is my collaboration with my co-host, RC, who has his own music podcast and felt that partnering with me, to do a talk show, was the thing to do.  This is our latest show, which is packed with REAL, RARE and RAW musings from, “yours truly”.  Make sure you add this to your to-do list, as we bring O.U.R. Advice Talk Show to you six days a week, and just in case you miss the live show, you are free to click on for your listening pleasure, at your leisure.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ourtalkradioshow/2015/01/07/our-advice-talk-showbring-us-your-topics